Hannah Ashwell is a therapist, counselor, and executive coach specializing in the unique emotional challenges faced by Ultra High Net Worth Individuals, emergency responders, and those wishing to find freedom from ‘modern day’ addictions such as food and weight-related issues, unwanted sexual behavior, pornography, and gambling. Drawing on deep clinical expertise and lived experiences, Hannah works with anyone who’s committed to making the changes they need to make to live the life of freedom they want to live.

Alongside her work as a therapist, Hannah is a leading expert in law enforcement and first responder-related trauma, working with national bodies to shape wellbeing policy and support officers in high-risk roles. She is currently writing two PhDs on mental health in the policing workforce.

A popular podcast guest, Hannah speaks with clarity and humor on trauma, addiction, the recovery journey, and wealth and privilege. Her forthcoming book, QuitPorn: You Don’t Have To Be Addicted To Want To Break Free, is being published in 2025. She lives with her twin boys and two German Shepherds, Meshach and Shadrach.

Our conversation is an eye-opening dive into the long-term impacts of addictions on today’s society.

Key points in brief

• Widespread exposure: Easy access and normalization of online porn have created an “opportunity” driver alongside trauma and attachment factors.
• Not just “addicts”: People can be distressed and want freedom long before meeting clinical addiction criteria.
• Spiritual and clinical impacts: Lustful thoughts matter spiritually, and repeated exposure reshapes desire and can impair intimacy, especially for young men.
• Compounding harms: Porn economies intersect with trafficking and exploitation; consumers fuel demand even when content is “free.”
• Church response: Pastors and congregations need open conversation, accountable relationships, specialist help, and layered safeguards.

Key takeaways

• Treat porn struggles like other care needs: combine prayer, accountability, software safeguards, and specialist therapy when needed.
• Early help beats waiting for a diagnosis; desire for freedom is a valid threshold for support.
• Normalize honest conversation in church settings while protecting confidentiality.
• Build sustainable ministries rather than short-lived initiatives.
• Support spouses and women as well as men; shame isolates and slows recovery.

Quotes

• “You don’t have to be an addict to want to be free.” — Hannah Ashwell
• “Opportunity is the new kid on the block… we carry pornography in our pockets.” — Hannah Ashwell
• “We’ve made good sins and bad sins, but sin is still sin.” — Conversation
• “I’ll stop when I get married” is a trap; conditioning from years of porn use does not vanish at marriage. — Conversation
• “As a pastor, you don’t have to bear this burden alone.” — Hannah Ashwell

Next Steps for small-church pastors

1. Start this month with what you can sustain

• Pick one Sunday or midweek to name the issue with grace and hope. Offer a short, clear next step rather than an altar call only.
• Create a private intake path: a simple email alias or form that routes to two trusted elders for confidential follow-up.

2. Build a lean care pathway

• Level 1: Pastoral conversation plus prayer, a basic plan, and one accountability partner.
• Level 2: Add device safeguards. Choose one solution you can support across phones and laptops. Document a 10‑minute setup guide.
• Level 3: Refer to a faith-aligned specialist for trauma, compulsive behavior, or marriage impact. Keep a short, vetted referral list.

3. Form a sustainable micro‑group

• 3 to 5 people, closed group, 8 to 10 weeks, clear start and end. Meet off‑stage in a neutral space. Share group rules in writing: confidentiality, honesty, specific check‑ins, no explicit details.
• Only launch if you have two reliable co-leads. If not, run 1:1 mentoring for now.

4. Care for spouses and women

• Offer a parallel confidential pathway and at least one resource for spouses.
• Name that women also struggle and are welcome in care pathways and groups.

5. Protect leaders and the church

• Elders hold one another accountable. No one meets alone. Keep brief, minimal notes stored securely. Define mandatory‑reporting boundaries in writing.

6. Communicate simply and repeatedly

• Quarterly reminder from the pulpit and in email: “Struggling? Here’s a safe next step.”
• Add a line on your website under Care: confidential email and what to expect.

90‑day rollout plan

• Weeks 0–2: Set up intake path. Pick and test accountability software on two devices. Compile a two‑name referral list.
• Weeks 3–4: Teach once. Share the confidential next step. Begin two 1:1s.
• Weeks 5–8: Run the first micro‑group. Track what worked. Offer spouse support touchpoint.
• Weeks 9–12: Debrief with elders. Adjust. Announce the next group window and refresh the referral list.

Minimal resource toolkit

• One-page policy: confidentiality, reporting, group rules.
• 10‑minute device guide: how to install safeguards and set an ally.
• Short scripture and prayer liturgy for weekly check‑ins.
• Referral card with two counselors and one crisis line.

Success markers to watch

• You have a safe intake path that gets used.
• At least two ongoing 1:1 mentorships and one completed micro‑group.
• Clear handoffs to specialists when needed and healthy boundaries for leaders.

Printable 1‑page checklist

• [ ] Name the issue with grace and hope in one teaching slot this month
• [ ] Post a confidential intake path that routes to two elders
• [ ] Run two initial 1:1 pastoral check‑ins this month
• [ ] Choose and document one accountability/safeguard tool with a 10‑minute setup guide
• [ ] Build a two‑name referral list for faith‑aligned counselors
• [ ] Define group guardrails: confidentiality, honest check‑ins, no explicit details, reporting boundaries
• [ ] Launch a closed micro‑group: 3–5 people for 8–10 weeks with two co‑leads
• [ ] Offer a parallel support touchpoint for spouses and name support for women
• [ ] Establish elder accountability and “no one meets alone” rule
• [ ] Store minimal notes securely with access limited to pastoral care leads
• [ ] Add a quarterly reminder in services and email with the confidential next step
• [ ] Add a Care page line on the website with how to reach help and what to expect
• [ ] Debrief after 8–10 weeks, adjust the pathway, and announce the next group window

Q & A transcript (curated)

• Q: What’s driving the rise in porn use beyond trauma and attachment issues?
  • A: Opportunity. Phones and the web put explicit content one tap away, reducing stigma and increasing access.
• Q: “Soft porn” isn’t a big deal, right?
  • A: No. Lustful thoughts matter spiritually, and “soft” often escalates over time.
• Q: When is porn “too much” clinically?
  • A: Diagnostics look at life-control and frequency, but people can and should seek freedom before hitting criteria.
• Q: How does long-term porn use affect young men?
  • A: Increasing reports of porn-induced erectile dysfunction and difficulty forming healthy intimacy.
• Q: What about child sexual abuse material?
  • A: Consumption fuels demand and harms real victims; escalation pathways can pull people toward more extreme content.
• Q: What should a small church actually do?
  • A: Open dialogue, define confidential pathways, use layered supports, and build sustainable, specific groups with trained leads.
• Q: Should pastors shoulder this alone?
  • A: No. Share accountability with elders and refer to specialists when appropriate.

Link To Podcast Audio: 95Podcast 305

 

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