By Dale Sellers
The setting in which I confessed that I thought I’d be there by now was a casual conversation. However, the thought became ingrained in me many years earlier as I was pastoring a small church. I soon learned that each level of growth requires different strategies and structures. That was when I realized that having the leadership ability to reach three hundred people does not automatically mean you have what it takes to reach six hundred or even one thousand. My problem surfaced at some point during that time.
The problem was comparison, and it tormented me. I had allowed myself to view the success of others as a measure of whether I believed I was a success or a failure. In hindsight, it’s easy to see where I got offtrack.
The problem was comparison, and it tormented me. I had allowed myself to view the success of others as a measure of whether I believed I was a success or a failure. In hindsight, it’s easy to see where I got offtrack.
Comparison, no matter in what arena of life, is always destructive. We see its discouraging effects in such things as how teenage girls relate to one another, the way athletes measure themselves against their competition, the intense stress created by academic achievement, and even our focus on economic status as we try to keep up with the Joneses. It seems all of us are constantly comparing ourselves with … well, everybody else.
Comparison had an even greater negative impact on me because of whom I was comparing myself with. Although our church fit squarely in the 95 percent of all churches, I compared myself with the 5 percent of larger-church pastors. I unintentionally locked myself in a maximum-security prison of comparison as I measured my ministry success against the churches that drew thousands of worshippers each week. No wonder I felt like a failure. Who wouldn’t?
By admitting I thought I’d be there by now, I allowed Jesus to unveil the false beliefs behind the shame I had lived under continuously. My shame manifested itself in a sense of failure because the results I had produced in life did not meet the standard I believed He had set for me. It’s a hard cross to bear when you believe that Jesus is disappointed with you. Can you relate? Maybe your story is similar. If so, I understand.
It’s a hard cross to bear when you believe that Jesus is disappointed with you.
(Sellers, Dale. Stalled: Hope and Help for Pastors Who Thought They’d Be There by Now (p. 30).)
If this describes a problem that you are dealing with then I’d love to connect with you and talk it out. I’ve found that sometimes the most valuable thing I need is to have a conversation with someone who has been there before.
What are you doing that is working well? What is not going so well? Let’s connect and have a conversation about it. At 95Network, we are here to support and serve you in anyway we can. If you feel like you’re in a season where your stalled out and can see the way forward then please reach out to me at [email protected]
- Website: 95Network.org
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- Read Stalled: Hope and Help for Pastors Who Thought They’d Be There By Now
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