By Dale Sellers

I remember lying in my bed at night during the season of our church split, wondering if my heart was going to stop because of the stress I was experiencing. This was actually the beginning of some health issues that culminated in quadruple bypass surgery fifteen years later. My heart surgeon considered the stress of ministry to be a major contributor to my condition, which he termed a “widow-maker.”

My heart surgeon considered the stress of ministry to be a major contributor to my condition, which he termed a “widow-maker.”

I felt so exposed at the time, as if the whole world could see my leadership shortcomings. I can’t stand to be exposed. I know my resistance to exposure is rooted in pride. Maybe some insecurity too. Whatever my real issue is, nothing in life makes me to want to run and hide more. A few times, I wanted to leave town and never go back due to the embarrassment of exposure.

Feelings of inadequacy can wear you down when life doesn’t turn out as you hoped. It is obvious when a ministry is stalled. Everyone can see it. Your inability to do anything about the situation eventually causes you to conclude that nothing can be done.

Feelings of inadequacy can wear you down when life doesn’t turn out as you hoped. It is obvious when a ministry is stalled. Everyone can see it.

In reality, a lot of us are in the same place. As I mentioned earlier, research continues to reveal that the vast majority of American churches are small. This reality can’t be merely coincidental. There must be some common factors that contribute to it.

Here are a few that come to mind:

• the politics of congregational government

• a lack of leadership training

• the widening generational gap

• no clear mission or vision

• programs versus a defined discipleship pathway

Any—or all—of these may be contributing to why your ministry hasn’t grown as you had hoped. However, the issue you must confront isn’t how you arrived at this point. The issue is that you are at this point. The lack of growth can’t be ignored or explained away. It’s just there as a daily reminder that you have been unable to carry out your plans. The results are in at this point, and the picture being painted isn’t pretty. So you do your best each day, all the while knowing you are exposed.

However, the issue you must confront isn’t how you arrived at this point. The issue is that you are at this point.

(Sellers, Dale. Stalled: Hope and Help for Pastors Who Thought They’d Be There by Now (pp. 34-35).

If feeling exposed describes you then I’d love to connect with you and talk it out. I’ve found that sometimes the most valuable thing I need is to have a conversation with someone who has been there before.

What are you doing that is working well? What is not going so well? Let’s connect and have a conversation about it. At 95Network, we are here to support and serve you in anyway we can. If you feel like you’re in a season where your stalled out and can see the way forward then please reach out to me at [email protected]

• Website: 95Network.org
• 95Network – Soul Care Essentials
• 95Network – Healthy Church Assessment
• Read Stalled: Hope and Help for Pastors Who Thought They’d Be There By Now

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