By Dale Sellers

As a leader, where does your desire to accomplish things come from? In other words, what motivates you to do what you do?

I’ve always made it my goal to prioritize hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit when making leadership decisions. My intention is to be a leader who practices what I call “reflex obedience.” That means I want to grow to the place where my immediate response to the Spirit’s prompting is to carry out the directive without resistance.

However, I’ve also had many seasons where my leadership style could be better defined as being “driven” to accomplish a goal. There was something inside of me pushing me to arrive at a destination that often wasn’t even clearly defined. I would find myself trying to get “there” without really knowing where “there” was.

The real tension comes when I reach a place where I can’t distinguish between the two.

Here’s what I mean: Discerning the inner prompting (or voice) of the Holy Spirit can get complicated over the years. I’ve often felt confident that I can hear the Holy Spirit speak direction into my life. However, the sound of the Holy Spirit’s voice can sometimes feel very similar to the sound of my own conscience.

So how do I determine when I’m being led by the Holy Spirit and when I’m being driven by my own desires?

If I’m honest, the answer has gotten a little blurry after 40+ years of serving in many different ministry capacities. With that in mind, here are a few best practices that have helped me gain clarity about what truly motivates my leadership.

1 – The Holy Spirit will never lead me to act in a way that is contrary to Scripture.

How I treat the people I lead says a great deal about where my decisions come from. The Holy Spirit will never prompt me to use people in order to get where I want to go. My calling is to love, disciple, and encourage them.

I remember an encounter I had with a volunteer youth pastor when I was pastoring. During a casual conversation, Jasmine told me she didn’t enjoy talking with me. Shocked by her honesty, I asked why she felt that way. She said I was always looking past her whenever we spoke.

That confession cut me to the core, because I knew she was right. I didn’t really value the job she was doing with our youth. (And to be honest, I never trained or mentored her in how to become a better leader.) I saw her as a subpar leader who would eventually be replaced by a stronger leader. As a result, I didn’t enjoy spending time with her. Instead, I preferred being around leaders who were already having success.

I’ve seen this way of treating people become more common—especially in larger ministries. If we’re not intentional, we can begin to treat people as stepping stones on our path to the top. We forget that the people on our team are as important as the masses we’re trying to reach.

Making snap judgments about someone’s potential, without truly getting to know them, often leads us to write them off. And the current climate of recruiting “accomplished leaders” can tempt us to undervalue someone’s potential.

I like to point out that diamonds, gold, and silver usually appear covered in dirt first. A leader’s job is to see potential in people who may need to be cleaned up and polished over time.

2 – Accomplishing ministry objectives should never be about filling an empty place in my soul.

I’ve known several narcissists in ministry leadership positions. In my experience, I don’t think most of them started out that way… Many evolved into narcissistic leadership as their influence in ministry grew over time.

The accolades that came from making “successful” decisions became a soothing salve for emotional wounds, often rooted in trauma from the past.

Sometimes, they didn’t even realize they were wounded.

Traumatic experiences have a way of piling up if they aren’t dealt with. If I ignore one pain by stacking it on top of the last one, I can eventually become numb to my own emotions. And in that numbness, the lines blur even more until my ability to distinguish between the Holy Spirit’s voice and my own voice becomes confused.

3 – Determining ministry objectives should never be motivated by pleasing those in my charge.

Any serious study of leadership eventually reveals the devastation that insecurity can cause. And I’m not sure there’s a clearer gauge of insecurity than becoming a people-pleaser.

I’ve watched many ministry leaders wear themselves out trying to please everyone, only to discover it’s not possible.

The sacrifice of people-pleasing is this: it gives the people you’re called to lead power over you. In other words, they become the influencer in the relationship, rather than you influencing them.

Ministry leadership should never be about possessing power over people. But it should always be motivated by earning trust and respect, so you can influence people to grow in their walk with Jesus.

When I lose influence because I’ve lost respect, it becomes nearly impossible to help people mature. People don’t follow the advice of leaders they don’t respect.

People-pleasing doesn’t solve insecurity. It actually makes things worse.

Next Steps for Leaders

Here are some great next steps if you struggle with knowing what motivates your leadership:

1. Name the motive before you name the goal
   • Ask: What’s driving this decision—obedience, fear, approval, ambition, insecurity, or a need to prove something?
2. Run a “Scripture and character” check before a strategy check
   • Ask: If I pursue this, will it require me to compromise how I treat people?
3. Invite a trusted outside voice to ask hard questions
   • A mentor, elder, coach, or spouse can often identify “driven” patterns we can’t see in ourselves.
4. Audit your relational wake
   • Identify one person you may be overlooking. Schedule time to listen, learn, and invest.
5. Address the “empty place” directly
   • Make space for soul care: counseling, spiritual direction, sabbath rhythms, confession, and honest conversations—not just more productivity.
6. Replace people-pleasing with clear, kind leadership boundaries
   • Decide in advance what you will and won’t do to gain approval. Practice saying “no” without guilt.
7. Build a repeating discernment rhythm
   • Weekly: silence/prayer + journaling
   • Monthly: extended reflection
   • Quarterly: a full-day retreat to recalibrate

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What are you doing that is working well? What is not going so well? Let’s connect and have a conversation about it. At 95Network, we are here to support and serve you in anyway we can. If you feel like you’re in a season where you’re stalled out and can’t see the way forward, then please reach out to me at [email protected]

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• 95Network – Soul Care Essentials
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• Read Stalled: Hope and Help for Pastors Who Thought They’d Be There By Now

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