By Dale Sellers

Our oldest daughter, Tiffany, fell and scraped her elbow when she was a toddler. It was quite a traumatic experience for her at the time. However, Gina was able to bring miraculous healing to her boo-boo by putting a Band-Aid on it. Like most toddlers, Tiffany spent the next few days looking at her injury. She also made sure everyone she encountered knew about it too. Once the Band-Aid was removed, she continued to observe her boo-boo daily as if to monitor its healing process. One day, while walking and looking at her boo-boo, Tiffany walked right into our sliding glass door. Ouch. She had become so fixated on her injury that she slammed into an invisible wall right in front of her.

Tiffany’s toddler experience describes thousands of pastors and other leaders in the church today. Can you relate? You may be carrying around some devastating wounds that still need healing. However, because of your daily responsibilities, the time to heal isn’t available. So you continue leading as a wounded warrior. Eventually the outcome is the same as a toddler focusing on a boo-boo—you slam into a glass wall.

The results of focusing on our wounds are always the same. Inward focus stops momentum dead in its tracks. The larger ramification is this: an inward-focused leader always produces an inward-focused organization. Outreach and church growth cannot happen in such an environment.

The larger ramification is this: an inward-focused leader always produces an inward-focused organization.

This issue has given rise to a generation of pastors who have become doers instead of equippers. It’s simply easier to carry out tasks while injured than risk being exposed while attempting to train others. A pastor’s inward focus results in unhealthy codependency between the pastor and the congregation. The harder you work, the more you feel affirmed and significant, which temporarily eases your pain.

Unfortunately, relating to your congregation in this fashion creates a dysfunctional church with an insider focus. The people in these churches are more concerned with having their needs met than with having an impact on their communities. Eventually insider-focused churches encounter certain death as they slam into the invisible wall of obscurity. In other words, although they are still in the community physically, their ability to influence the community dissolves. Once-thriving ministries fade into oblivion because they lose the ability to relate to those around them.

Pastoring is difficult. Our actions while caring for eternal souls have lasting consequences. Although we face many challenges, the hardest issue I dealt with while pastoring was having to grow and mature personally while still leading my congregation. Nothing made me feel more hypocritical than preaching or counseling on an issue I was personally struggling with. The machine of ministry never stopped making demands of me. It seemed as if I never had any time to withdraw and focus on my own health, let alone enter God’s refreshing presence.

The machine of ministry never stopped making demands of me. It seemed as if I never had any time to withdraw and focus on my own health, let alone enter God’s refreshing presence.

Many pastors struggle in this way. While we preach sermons about the benefits of Sabbath, we continue working seven days a week. We seldom practice what we preach. Sometimes this is because we refuse to slow down to rest and reflect. We can’t take a time-out because we will spend that quiet time reviewing the results of our ministry. However, it’s not just the workaholic pastor at fault here. Many of our congregations contribute to this problem as well. Their unrealistic expectations keep us spinning in this never-ending cycle.

Has your congregation ever required that you (or your staff) take time off to work on your marriage? Have they ever paid to send you and your spouse off for a week of restoration and replenishment? While some churches may be intentional about doing so, these practices rarely show up on the average church’s radar. Our congregations can be quick to pounce on us if we have marriage problems or other issues, yet very seldom does a congregation invest in preventative measures to preserve and encourage the personal, physical, marital, and professional growth of their shepherds.

Sellers, Dale. Stalled: Hope and Help for Pastors Who Thought They’d Be There by Now (pp. 51-53).

Are you currently carrying wounds from ministry, or even life, that you continue to ignore? I learned from my counselor several years ago that traumatic events don’t just go away or heal themselves. They can actually act just like a tether ball on a school playground. The more you ignore them the tighter they eventually wind you up.

Maybe it’s time to reach out to a trusted friend who can help you start on the path to healing.

What are you doing that is working well? What is not going so well? Let’s connect and have a conversation about it. At 95Network, we are here to support and serve you in anyway we can. If you feel like you’re in a season where your stalled out and can see the way forward then please reach out to me at [email protected]

• Website: 95Network.org
• 95Network – Soul Care Essentials
• 95Network – Healthy Church Assessment
• Read Stalled: Hope and Help for Pastors Who Thought They’d Be There By Now

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