By Dale Sellers

Exhaustion is the common denominator in every major mistake I have made in my adult life. Without exception, I was physically, mentally, and spiritually exhausted at each of these times. Exhaustion will always lead us to give up the fight. We were not created to press on full steam ahead every day of our lives. Craig D. Lounsbrough said, “We tediously create calendars filled with empty duties, and then we foolishly let those calendars empty us.” I hate admitting that I have been guilty of doing this.

“We tediously create calendars filled with empty duties, and then we foolishly let those calendars empty us.”

You’ve heard the old parental cliché “Do what I say and not what I do.” If you’re like me, you go ahead and do what they do. While most pastors do a good job of living what they preach, I have identified one area in which most pastors tend to ignore the instruction of Scripture. Pastors find it easier to teach about observing the Sabbath than to actually practice taking a day off to rest.

We do this for many reasons. Some of us believe it’s part of our call as pastors to sacrifice our health for the people in our congregations. Others need to be seen as martyrs in order to fulfill a need for acceptance. Still other pastors are so driven that they justify ignoring a clear directive from motivator, nothing will cause us to lose perspective faster than exhaustion. A pastor continuing to operate despite having lost perspective will eventually bring an entire ministry to an abrupt halt.

One summer several years ago, Gina and I spent a vacation with some friends at their lake house. As the week came to an end, we decided to head home in time to attend church on Sunday morning. After loading the car, I decided it would be fun to squeeze in a casual Sunday morning ride on the water before loading the boat onto the trailer. So we jumped into the boat on this picture-perfect morning and took off. The lake was especially smooth at this early hour since no other boats were on the water yet.

The ride was so peaceful and relaxing. Although I was keeping tabs on the time, I neglected to focus on how far we had traveled. But once I recognized the interstate bridge as we came around a bend, I realized we had traveled over two miles. Just as we turned around to head back to the lake house, the boat began to sputter with the unmistakable sound that accompanies an empty fuel tank. I had uncharacteristically forgotten to check the fuel level in my haste to squeeze in one more ride. We were now dead in the water over two miles from our destination. And there was not a soul in sight. I have never felt so embarrassed. Or hopeless.

Our options of what to do next were limited.

Option one: We could jump into the lake and swim to shore with the boat in tow. However, we were sitting in the widest part of the lake. Also, we’d still be two miles from the lake house even if we made it to land.

Option two: We could start paddling. I should mention that we had only one short paddle, which required extensive stretching over the side of the boat to gain traction. And, of course, the morning sun was now beating down on us.

We chose option two … and it was brutal. By now a slight breeze had kicked up, and the current was fighting against us. We were working as hard as we could without making any progress. I’ve never experienced a more stressful situation. The stress wasn’t just because of our current problem. It was much more than that to me. How could I have been so careless? My actions didn’t affect just me. My poor wife had to help paddle a boat for two miles because of her husband’s bad decision.

Many pastors and other leaders all across America find themselves in a similar place. What began as a hopeful journey together has completely stalled.

Does this situation sound familiar? Many pastors and other leaders all across America find themselves in a similar place. What began as a hopeful journey together has completely stalled. The organization is now dead in the water. In some instances, it was our leadership decisions, either through action or inaction, that contributed to the problem. The resulting pressure building around us soon became the stress within us. Proverbs 13:12 describes how I felt most days: “Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around.”

Does leading your church feel as if you’re swimming to shore with a boat in tow? Or like paddling against the current for miles without making any progress? Whatever your situation, you simply can’t continue leading in this fashion. The internal weight you are carrying, coupled with the external pressures, ultimately proves to be too much to bear. The pressure cooker you’re living in soon causes you to question your calling. The anticipated fulfillment of ministry success is replaced by the unfulfillment that accompanies being stalled. Over time I began to recognize the link between feeling unfulfilled and being distracted.

To this day I wonder why I didn’t check the fuel tank on the boat. It’s not normal for me to make such an avoidable mistake. I do remember thinking it would be best if we just loaded up the boat and headed home. But I allowed my desire to squeeze one more thing into our schedule to distract me. This distraction led to a disastrous situation. I felt like a failure.

Sellers, Dale. Stalled: Hope and Help for Pastors Who Thought They’d Be There by Now (pp. 63-66).

I do hope you haven’t allowed yourself to get on the path of distraction. In so many instances, it’s not the biggest problem that stalls you out. . . it’s the last one. It has always amazed me how we can overcome some huge obstacles and then later be taken out by a relatively small one. However, that’s what tends to happen when we are leading on empty.

What are you doing that is working well? What is not going so well? Let’s connect and have a conversation about it. At 95Network, we are here to support and serve you in anyway we can. If you feel like you’re in a season where your stalled out and can see the way forward then please reach out to me at [email protected]

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